tumblr bedtime stories
how come you never see Troy and Gabrielle fucking acting in the first High School Musical. they’re auditioning for a play. a play with words. words need spoken. stage directions need be taken. what even is the plot of that musical. did anyone go to see it. how come Sharpay and her gay brother didn’t get supporting roles actually wait fuck were there any supporting roles? what is the high school musical in high school musical. why does ryan keep wearing hats.
one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat
If you say you’ve never bought clothes influenced by a fictional character youre lying
every 1st september we joke about getting ready for hogwarts to cover up the very real and very very deep scars of never getting our letters
why does imdb say this actor is 3/4 of an inch tall he’s apparently shorter than wilson the volleyball
once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”
Taking naked pictures of yourself does not make you a bad person. People who share them without your permission are bad people.
I should have thought about where I was going to put all these books before I bought them. Whoops.
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like something really important just happened